Beside the Flames
by mentalsunflower
Summary: HBP SPOILERS! READ THE BOOK FIRST! Remus x Tonks 'What are you still doing here? ' asked a familiar voice. 'Whoah, hello Tonks,' Remus replied...Takes place one week after OotP. ONE SHOT.


**A/N: This is completely out of my imagination and really, REALLY long. Absolutely loved The Half-Blood Prince.**

**Disclaimer: All the characters, place, and love story belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowling, which sounds like bowling, not howling, by the way. **

Remus Lupin stared into the flames of the fireplace of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place as they jumped and hissed in its stone confinements. The rest of the Order was upstairs, vanishing anything and packing up everything that had belonged to their organization. Dumbledore had informed them that now the last Black was gone, the house may very well go onto Bellatrix Lestrange.

He hadn't brought many things to any of their meetings and stowed them away secretly. Instead he had decided to build a fire in the kitchen fireplace and think. Would he ever be in this room again? This house? Or would it be gone forever? Just like…just like…

Remus felt his throat tighten at the thought. It wass only him left now. James dead first, then Sirius…Peter no longer counted for anything in Remus' life. He was the only Marauder left, and he felt queasy thinking about what was to come, and what would happen to him. He suddenly remembered back in the Hogwarts days, when the four of them were always together, and the thought of death or no friendship between them was appalling. And now—now it had actually come true. There was no Marauders left. There was just one marauder. Just Moony.

Remus felt a sudden exhaustion in his very bones; he felt wearier than he had in a long time. The flames reflected in his eyes, making him feel old and tired. Just when he thought things could get a bit better…things had gotten worse. Too many lives were gone, too many Death Eaters were surfacing and terrorizing people already one week into the summer, and too many times during their awakening had the Order failed.

"What are you still doing here?" The familiar voice snapped Remus back to Earth.

"Wha—oh, hello Tonks," he said quietly, his face looking a bit more happier for a split second, but then once more became downcast as he went back to gazing into the fire. "I could ask you the same question," he suddenly told her.

"Oh, well, Molly made me get rid of some files and books from the kitchen. Of course, I kind of knocked over a pile of plates Molly was trying to clean up to be polite to Kreacher or Mrs. Black or something—broke all of them but one, which Kreacher took away to his little den like it was a treasure." Tonks said this all very fast, and then smiled. "Now you have to answer _my _question."

Remus glanced up at Tonks, whose head was full of vibrant, neon orange curls. He smiled.

"I was just…remembering," he decided safely. He didn't want to seem like he was breaking down or anything…because he wasn't.

Tonks pursed her lips, as if she saw through his weak attempt at being unaffected by that month's events. Remus made sure to continue staring into the fire. She sat down abruptly on the chair beside Remus. He purposely avoided her gaze, which was drilling into his mind.

"You know," she suddenly said softly, "you're allowed to miss him."

Remus felt himself tense. Tonks was being uncharacteristically serious, and it slightly unnerved Remus.

"Er—I know," he responded lamely.

"Good," Tonks said a bit more cheerfully, ignoring the tone in Remus' voice that clearly stated nothing was good at all. "Because you're not the only one who misses him, you know."

Remus looked at her out of the corner of his eye, feeling something unnatural writhe around in his stomach. "What?"

"Oh—well you know, he was always here at Number Twelve. He actually livened up the place quite a bit. Without him it's a bit dull. And he _is_ my second cousin," Tonks reminded him sternly.

The two fell into a sudden and very uncomfortable silence. "He wasn't always that way," Remus told her out loud, feeling slightly agitated at Tonks' warmness towards Sirius.

Tonks did not look at him strangely as if he were crazy to be talking so random. "What way?" Tonks questioned.

"Well…" Remus sighed, making up his mind to speak up a bit. "You only know him as the run away convict with the messy, long hair, the hollow, empty face and the roughness around him. He used to be so…different." Remus didn't know why he was talking. Obviously Sirius had been different at one point. So had Remus and probably, so had Tonks.

"What was he like before?" Tonks whispered. Remus thought for a few moments.

"He used to be, I don't know…happier. More alive and vibrant. Not afraid to do things, little things. I mean, he wasn't afraid even here, but he was always so serious about it, so angry. Back then he used to take things as they came and laughed about it. The girls were always chasing him, and he was always doing stupid pranks with James. And sometimes me," Remus added with a sad smile. "He never used to be as surly, or sad, or even as angry as he was here." Remus fell silent. Weren't these talks supposed to make you feel better? If anything, Remus felt worse.

"Well, he _had_ gone through a lot, and then he was back here. The place he hated and liked to tell us numerous times so."

Remus nodded, chuckling somewhat darkly. "Yes, I suppose so."

Something moved behind them. The two whirled around and there stood Molly.

"Tonks! I was hoping you could come and pack away some of the things--," she paused. "But not the dishes. No, something more…soft." Then she scuttled off, leaving Tonks and Remus alone again.

"I can't believe she's asking us to clean the house before we leave. It's crazy," Tonks mused aloud.

"It's common courtesy," Remus replied smoothly.

Remus saw Tonks tilt her head slightly, as if she were in thought. "You _are_ a different one, aren't you, Mister Remus Lupin?"

Remus glanced over at her warily, deciding not to look back in the fire. "I'm not the one who changes appearance every five minutes, Miss Nymphadora Tonks, am I?"

Tonks scowled playfully at him. "But _I'm_ not the wolf, am I?" she replied sneakily back.

"But you're the clumsy one, which is just as bad," Remus teased back, shocked to find out he was actually having fun—actually _teasing_ someone, believe it or not. Something was definitely different about Tonks. But he had felt that way for a while now, hadn't he? A little voice reminded him.

He hadn't noticed Tonks' chair had magically moved closer to his until he felt a wind from her direction just when she moved her arm. Remus looked at her carefully, one eyebrow quirked in some kind of amused thought.

"What are you smirking at?" Tonks asked lightly, pointing to her one of her fingernails and making it longer.

"Me? Smirking? No, never. And weren't you supposed to go help Molly?" Remus felt suddenly claustrophobic at Tonks' closeness, and wished she would go help Molly.

"What? Molly? Oh yea. Something soft. I suppose she means to get rid of sponges or something," Tonks muttered mournfully. Remus laughed, causing Tonks to startle.

"Did you just laugh?" she asked curiously.

"What, did Fudge pass a new rule against laughing?"

Tonks snorted. "Wouldn't doubt it. But what I meant was, you're laughing. After what, well, you know, happened. That means I helped a little." Tonks' smile was so child like, full of happiness and pride, that Remus couldn't help but smile either.

"Yes, you did help. A lot. Thank you," he said carefully. Tonks only smiled again, her arm brushing against his shoulder. He suddenly tensed up once more, feeling his breath come in shorter lengths. Was Tonks purposely making him feel like an old man by rubbing in her younger appearance?

"What are you doing?" he finally asked as she continued to adjust in her seat, bumping against him quite often.

"What am I doing? Trying to get comfortable, of course," she said, hinting. Remus didn't take the hint.

"The sofa's more comfy," he replied dryly, hoping _his _hint was blunt enough.

"But it's so far away from the fire…"

Remus bit back a smile. "Can you stop rubbing in your nice youngness, then? You happen to make me feel rather old."

Tonks laughed. "You think I'm trying to rub my youth into your face?" she asked with a smile so bright and big Remus had to look away to save being blinded.

"Well…yes," he said suspiciously, already aware he had said the wrong thing. Tonks was nearly bursting with laughter, finally letting out a yip that caused her to collapse into a fit of giggles. She had to hold onto Remus' shoulder for support as she gripped at her aching sides. Remus felt his face turn red.

"You know, that laughing doesn't do much to make a person feel better."

"S-S-Sorry," Tonks managed, wiping at her eyes as she straightened up. "I just…I just thought…" She paused, losing all traces of humor and looking at Remus carefully. "How long has it been since you, you know, had a girlfriend or something like that?"

Remus made a spluttering noise. "A _girlfriend?_ Tonks, I'm old. Men my age don't have girlfriends. They're supposed to have wives and families," he added bitterly. "But that's only normal men now, isn't it?"

"You're normal," Tonks replied defiantly. "I don't go for weird or abnormal guys, personally. And I trust my own judgment."

It took a few moments for this sentence to register in Remus' mind. "You fall for—what? Tonks, WHAT? Wait…WHAT?" he asked a bit louder, jumping up and taking a step back. "Oh no you don't," he said sternly, seeing the blush creeping up onto her cheeks as she stood up. "You're not supposed to do this…"

In his haste to back up, Remus tripped over a nearby chair leg and fell; head first, onto his back. He scrambled up quickly though, blushing slightly in the face at Tonks' innocent smile. She was getting closer, like a tiger on the prowl. He knew she had made her hair orange for some reason or other…

Remus was frozen. He felt his body screaming to run and that this was a very dangerous position to be in, but his limbs weren't answering whatever calls were sent to them. Instead, Remus could only stand there, completely still, as Tonks stood only a nose length away from him.

"Didn't you ever wonder how we ended up on the same mission at times?" she asked breathlessly. "Did you ever wonder why I always laughed at your jokes, or always fumbled around you? Didn't you?"

Remus couldn't open his mouth. He couldn't speak. All he could do was watch her like a statue. She seemed to take this as a sign to keep talking though, and Remus desperately wanted Molly to barge in like she usually did in awkward situations.

"Remus, I've noticed that you don't shun me like the rest of the Order," she said softly, her expression changing. "I knew there was something in you that was different. What was it? Did you—do you…do you feel the same?" she finally whispered, and Remus knew this was taking her a lot of effort; her face was blushing like mad.

Remus finally managed to splutter out some words. "Tonks, I'm—I'm _old!_ And _poor! _And I'm a _werewolf!_" he told her viciously; glad he was able to move again. "You can't do this! It's stupid! We're in the _Order…_"

"So you _do _feel something?" she asked brightly, completely ignoring Remus' protests.

"That's none of your business!" he snapped stupidly. Tonks rolled her eyes, still smiling.

"Yes it is, Remus. And I don't care if you're old, poor, and dangerous. What's more important is what's _good_ about you," she added, poking him in the chest as she took a step closer. Once more, Remus felt frozen. "And I've noticed the good…"

Tonks was closer…closer…and so close Remus could see the freckles lightly dotting her nose. Something finally worked—something inside of him finally snapped as her lips brushed lightly against his.

"No," he said firmly, putting his hands on her shoulders and pushing her back a step. "No," he repeated. Tonks had an expression Remus hadn't seen often—hurt.

"What?" she asked softly.

"No. We can't."

"Yes we can! If we both feel something—,"

"That's not how it goes in times like these," Remus said through his teeth. "I'm a werewolf. I'm about to go live with Voldemort's werewolves, and I'm completely dangerous. And I'm terribly poor and awfully old for you. I was in school with your _mother,_ Tonks, your _mother._ We can't do something like this."

He knew his words cut Tonks the second he had said them. Her look of hurt went into something like shock, then anger, then a different kind of hurt; one Remus could not describe.

"But I don't _care,_" she whispered hoarsely.

"Well I do," Remus told her tensely. "It's not a matter of feelings, it's a matter of the situation--,"

"That's so logical!" Tonks snapped. "TOO logical! I can't believe—I don't…I don't understand…"

Tonks' words were cut off by a late Molly, who bustled into the room with a pile of papers. Remus' hands flew off of Tonks shoulders as he blushed for no reason. Molly looked up suddenly.

"Oh Tonks, there you are. Some sponges upstairs are calling you," she said loudly, and then stomped back out muttering. Tonks stood silently for a moment, and then walked quickly out of the room and up the stairs.

Remus didn't follow her.

As he left Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place for what he felt was the last time, he looked up the stairs subconsciously, expecting Tonks to be standing at the top, smiling and waving with her usual bubblegum pink hair.

Surprisingly, Tonks _was _standing at the top of the stairs. But she wasn't smiling or waving, or anything that showed happiness. Instead, her face looked like she had just visited a rather depressing funeral.

And her hair was a deflated mousy brown.


End file.
